Roger, the walker and Kathleen

Hey, eurone. wat up? ain't much been going on around here cept that its hotter then shit. so I figured its a good time for "Memoirs of a liquor slanger."

Roger

This story is told because of the extraordinary coincidences that happened. normally I refrain from tootin my own horn, but some times you just gotta toot the muhfucker. You know?

Anyways, Roger is a 67 yr old partially homeless customer o mine.
He is what i picture to be the old man in "the old man and the sea." Dudes always been polite. And he's old school, like, no matter what hes wearin, shirts always tucked in n shit. You know?, "Old school." Anyways, for a long time dudes always walked around with a beat up stroller. I've seen empty cans and stuff in it so i didn't pay it no mind.( round here, some bum muhfukers got like a train of carts all tied together, choo chooin around like they "thomas the train.") Then one day, I walk to the storage room and peep through the gate. rogers layin out on the sidewalk. As i've mentioned before, its a common sight around here. But not with Roger. Dudes "old school." They got dignity. So I say," hey Roger, you alright?" no answer. So I go n check on him. Turns out, he fell and he thinks his wrist is broken. And dudes been there for a couple o hours n shit. Fuckin eh!... so I call 911. They come n take him to the e-room.
But they leave his shit. ( the stroller, a jacket, etc...) So I take it in the store till
he gets out.

Next day, Roger's back. I give him his shit. Then I ask him whats crackin with the stroller. He explains that he's got a bad hip n normally uses a walker. And a little while ago, he was sleepin for the night and some bitches stole it... Who the fuck steals a walker? .... Anyways, since then hes used the stroller as a replacement. So I told him that I would try to find him somethin. Or try to figure out the whole "medicare or cal." Bullshit n see if he can get one through them. Well, turns out that "bullshit" is fuckin confusing as hell. So I go to plan "B". I look for a used walker. I figure, how much could those cost? You know the ones you see with the tennis balls on the legs. Holy mary, they are bout $500.00 ea." Mother fucking greedy ass cocksucker healthcare companies." Now what?........

Around this time, (bout a yr ago) is when I hurt my back, (herniated disk w/ sciatica. "fuck yeah it hurt.") Couldn't golf or do shit. So that's when I sat down and decided to familiarize my self with the computer. I was what
you would definitely call comp. illiterate. I didn't know shit. But in that month, I gots to say, I learned pretty fast. so after all that, I decided to check out craigslist,(for the first time ever) for a used reasonably priced walker. I gotta warn you, ain't too much crackin in craigslist when it comes to walkers. Shit, I didn't even know what section to look in. At this point, I pretty much have given up hope of finding anything. So I click the "free" section, start scrollin and "bam!" a muhfukin FREE walker. Hells to the muhfukin yeah!... You know, that's why sometimes I walk with a limp. Cuz thats what u do when youz a pimp. a straight up "pimpdaddyplayahustler" on the real. Ya betta ax somebody. Cause pimpin ain't ez....... and uh....... sorry. Kinda wandered off the story.
after I called the generous lady, and set up a pick up n all that. ( all the way in alta loma... "where?" all up in 99.1 kggi territory. you know, the I.E.)

I went to pick it up the next morning before work. Found the house alright. Nice new track homes... I walk up to ring the door bell, and I hear a bunch of kids inside. after I ring, a lady in her early thirties with a baby in her arms comes to the door. she tells me that she will open the garage..... garage opens and she introduces herself, (as "kathleen") so I do the same. She points to a corner of the garage and says, " its over there, my husband barely used it." Shit was brand new. I reply," so is he all better now?" And then she says, "no he passed away from cancer a few months ago." ..... "I.. uh.... I'm sorry for uh...." didn't know what to say. and I felt so bad for her. I quickly told her that the walker is going to someone who will appreciate it. And I thanked her..... fukin eh! New family and all. that sucks.

When I got to the store, I worked on customizing the walker. I attached a chain/lock system to clip to his belt. shit was pretty dope. When I gave it to roger, I told him bout the lady n her situation. and that we should send her a picture of him and a thank you card. I'm a terrible photographer...




So being the lagger that I tend to be, a couple o months went by before I walked in to "rite aid" to look for a card and drop off the disposable camera. (and yes, this was in 2007. they still have regular film bitches) So I fill out the drop off envelope, drop it in the hole, and I figure I come back in about 2 days for the pics. When I came back for the pics, turns out my dumbass checked some "high quality" box when I filled it out. And those take a week.chiit! I was all ready n shit too. Had the card and a stamped envelope with the pic of roger in it....... and by the way, "high quality" my ass. look at it. shit cost me round eighteen bucks for like 8 pictures. got muhfukin scammed by "rite aid." ( you know who's gettin taxed at the store? Any fool with a rite aid shirt. that's right.)

Any ways, got the pics later on that week and dropped it all at the post office........ a couple of weeks later, I got this in the mail.






Turns out my lagging was for a reason after all..... oh, Roger joined "victory outreach" a few days later. He said its time for him to quit drinkin. So since he don't drink no mo, I don't see him as much. But I have seen him. And hells yeah, he still gots the walker.

That's the day I became "San Edwardo de liqour mercado.".... so many titles but youz can still call me Eddy........ peace out. Be back with some more memoirs..... how bout the time I got "bum rushed" by actual bums? That kinda shit don't happen eurday. But out here in the hood, it ain't no thang. Keep it pimpin.