You want the # to corporate?

First off, I would like to say thanx to eurone for the kind comments. and a shout out
to Mina, who spreads nuttin but love... keep it pimpin gurl.
and to "the___of justice" who posted on "metafilter" and "blew up" my blog. welcome to all the peeps from metafilter and fazed and any that i don't know bout. I basically started this for my friends and never had any idea that this many people would read my shit. It's a bit overwhelming. I started to feel some pressure, then i thought, "fuck it. It is what it is." so imma just do shit the same way. Which brings me to the "grammer/punctuality" cops. wtf do you care so much? You no like? then you no read. I bet u that they were those hall monitor fukers back in elementary school. You know, them tellin ass bitches. Hands straight up in the air, just waitin to tell on yo ass. always sayin shit like,"oooh i'm telling." Well, I got somethin to tell you, tell yo momma to drive yo ass down here so you can give me some grammar lessons. and in return, I'll show you how it feels to get tazed. and maybe a punch to the side o your head.

Anyweez, I thought I'd give you some insight as to how we deal with complaints. My rule to my boys are, if they were rude first, say whatever you want. and if they ask to speak to the manager, just give em the number to corporate.(my cell #.) And I'll tell em that, "We here at ____ liquor have a "no rudeness/asshole policy." If you're rude or an asshole then, "fuck you, get the fuck out." Subtle but effective nonetheless. But don't get me wrong, if my boys are rude for no reason then they get an earful right in front of the customers.
A while back, I was doin my thang and a couple of black ladies and a dude came in. they were all rude n shit off the bat. So I get into my "dickhead mode." they ask what price is this n that, n I respond with "you see the sticker on all the items that have numbers on them? those are the prices."then they get all offended n shit. eventually gets to "I want to talk to the manager." at first I was caught off gaurd.(ain't never been asked that before) i was like, "huh? the manager?" and thats when I dipped behind the counter and said, "Hi is there a problem?"......... there was a couple of regulars in the store at the time and they were laughin there asses off. They left all pissed n shit.

Just right now,(as I'm writing this) this bum punkass who's always begging for change outfront. Been asked to stop that shit and sneaks right back only to get caught again, comes in like he's some sort o vip. throws some change on the counter before he chooses his beer. when he comes to front, I hear Niik sayin,"your short." then fukface says "you stole my change." now Niik is way nicer then I am. and even though I told him,"yo Niik this fools on the shit list." (means he can't fuck around) Dumbass Niik is tryin to reason with him. So I walk out and say,"Hey, what the fuck you doin asshole? you sure you wanna fuck around?" He shut the fuck up, paid and left..... customer service at its finest. I think I'll contact "J D power and associates" and see how we can get one o those "customer satisfaction" awards..... peace!

(side note: you have to know, that all these bums I refer to are not some old, helpless, shit outta luck peeps that you might imagine. for example, this bum bastard (from above) is probably in his early thirties, bout 5' 10'' and weighing in at 165. far from helpless. actually quite fit.... and i'm not mean to them for no reason. if they're on the "shit list," its cause they did something stupid, i.e. got caught stealing, try to be a tough guy when i ask em to not hang out in the front o da store or the very common, " trying to buy some beer, cigs, etc..... with nuthin but dirty ass, gum coated, piece o shit Pennies." and usually while we's busy. so when i tell em, "NO." they start bitchin and complaining bout how "money's money." and the usual response from me is,
"oh, money's money?... aaiite, the next time you roll in after "recycle" day, and your ass pays with fukin bills, your change is gon be all "pennies." then your ass better smile and say, "moneys money." but thats gon have to wait asshole, cuz you on 2 week "suspension." don't bring yo ass here for 2 weeks." and for thieves, I usually get all crazy eyed and tell em it's like stealing from my family! (just an act) then my voice goes high n shit. "what. what the fuck! U stealing from my family. ahh HELL NO!!!! ... then i do that fake shoulder lunge shit, you know, to make em flinch. then i chuckle. and tell they ass, "dont come back." most of em come back after a while and beg to come back. thats when i notify them that they are now on the "shit list.".."you come in, you pay, you leave.. no bullshit." ......"and, as a matter o fact, yo ass gotta come in sportin "rabbit ears"(pulling your pockets inside out.) eurtime.")
(edited a lil bit. just the wack shit, n mistakes.... be eazy...)