just another sunday....

First things first, I would like to give a BIG shout out to my home girl," MINA."(a part of my xtended fam.) wat up ma?.... for getting me off my ass to post some more bullshit. and while on the topic of shit, I would like to introduce you to "Violin."(I named him that cause he's always got some bullshit sob story. so i told his ass one day that he should have a lil dude following him around playin the violin. i think his name is steve or something) The bum. I mean, when you think of bums, this is probably what you'll picture. This muhfucker takes "dirty," to a whole nother level. fucker smells like "ass soup." with a side of "dark pee." ( you know the kind u pee after drinkin too much.)
One time, he came in while I was stocking outside the counter and as i glanced up, his pants were all wet in the ass area. So i say," hey violin, why the fuck you all wet on the ass? did you fuckin piss your pants?" this was his reply, verbatim: "nobody lets you use the bathroom around here." mind you, this is coming from a dude that takes shits next to dumpsters. " I was speechless. after the momentary confusion, I said,"New rule, No piss pants allowed in store!" a couple days later, His wife comes in with the fukin "pissy drenched ass." holy mary mother of ..... what can you do?
Anyways, the reason i introduce him to you is cause I've been working on a " bum deterrent."
All these bumstickles including Violin, seem to enjoy setting up camp right behind the store. its on an empty lot thats adjacent to my store. technically not my property so i can't do shit. and if they wouldn't cause trouble, I wouldn't care. But they do. (used needles up on my roof, human feces, violin and his wife having a shouting match.) so my first idea is to use nature as a weapon.
the lot is dirt and oddly, P town has those monster fuckin ants.(you know the kind you see when you go camping. big as hell.) so yesterday, while the bums were away, I gave jase a cup of sugar and told him to sprinkle it around the "camp." I'm assuming that normal peeps can't sleep with ants everywhere. but I do take into account that these are not normal people. ( like back in the day, remember the footage of those cats in Ethiopia with the flies crawlin all over their face. and they just chillin.) so i do have a couple of back up plans. I'll keep you posted. oh, i just figured out how to take snap shots with my security cams. so hopefully you can get pictures to the stories. peace, love and three flowers grease.

Talkin shit... (cont.)

hey, i had to cut off the last post (side steppin.) and couldn't finish the "talkin shit" part. so here it is....
the other day, me n rawl were workin and it was pretty slow. So this black lady, (from the "cracker crew") walks in. Now this lady is the classic ghetto chic. Loud, rude, always talkin some shit. But not enough to get a "suspension." so anyways, I'm chillin behind the counter watchin some t.v. when she rolls up. as always, it don't matter whether theres one or ten peoples at the counter. she gon yell out what she wants. I can deal with her n her crew bein that I am a "1st team master class" clerk. (they know to use there "inside" voice at the store. otherwise suspensions will be handed out.) but Niik n Rawl are sometimes rattled by the noise and chaos. So now, I have to get up. I tell her to "Take it eazy." and predictably, her response is," dont be tellin me to take it ez. you trippin. imma grown woman etc........ I was in the mood for a good ol "shit tlkin battle." so i commence with," well, you either take it ez or take yo ass to another store." her: " just bring yo ass out the counter and i'll whoop yo ass." (yeah, she is a lady or something like it.) me: "if i come out this counter its gon be the beginning of a bad week. cuz Imma "tooth chipper." you gon be known as "half tooth" after I get through with you." the verbal battle continues.... (in the beginning I told her " just cause my eyes are slanted don't think I can't hang. shiiit.. I got a mouth like a machine gun. ya betta ax somebody.") so bout 20 minutes go by. its a good "battle." then she throws out the "yo mammas a ho." game over. I win.
Ya see, when you throw the "yo mammas a ho," it means you all outta ammo. there's nothing left in the tank. the Last resort.... I claimed victory. she accepted. (she even gave me a "pound.") feelings of "accomplishment" ensue. and I bask in the warmth of "victory." and heres a pic. had to take it all quick n shit.

side stepin n shit talking

yo, back to back posts. rare..... anyways, I was handlin some shit behind the counter and I saw rawl doin the side step. (you know, when u got a wedgie and you can't pull it out with your hands, you do the "side step.") I always see him doin it. but today, when Niik came in he did a side step.
so i called him on it. He denied. claimed he was walking around me. But I know the side step when I see it. So i made him stick around until he admitted it. Victory.

bum mansion, and crest white strips.

yo, whats up? It's your fav. liq store extraordinaire, with some updates. and here is another "jase" adventure:
I guess starting about 2 weeks ago, Jase got fed up with his "roomy," and while out on the streets, he found a huge tarp. He dragged the tarp to his usual spot and proceeded
to build an addition to his cardaord box. The crazy fool ended up building a tent like thingy. fool came back all proud and shht bout his new "crib." so naturally I nicknamed it "Bum Mansion." Well, yesterday the mansion burned down. the crazy part is that Jase was inside while the raging inferno ravaged the single story....(tent,shelter, casa.) he said he woke up with his pants on fire. ( i had visions of him running around in circles like a chicken w/ his head chopped off.) but no worries, hes fine. The sad part is that "bum Mansion" is no more.

oh yeah, some dude was tryin to slang some Crest white strips for $20. trippin ass fool. I got it for $5 and a "King Cobra" 24oz. they think I'm some sucka...........
theyown know. but anyways, its teeth whitening time!!! I will post my smile in bout 10 dys. piece.....