meet the regulars......

hey yo, I wanted to introduce y'all to some o the regulars. It will continue as I get the pics. So here's one to start off the intros...
First off, We gots my man, "New Jack." I don't know his real name so I just named him. (I have a habit of doin that) The reason for the name is cuz this dude reminds me of "pookie," (played by Chris Rock) from the old movie
"New Jack City." for those too young to member that movie, Its bout a crew coming up in the crack game. and all the perks and pitfalls of starting a drug empire. and pookie was a crackhead. (it was probably societies first glimpse of a new breed: "crackheads") If you were to watch the movie now, it would probably be laughable considering the exposure we've had to some top notch examples of, what I like to refer to as, "cracker jacks." (Dave chappelles, "Tyrone," is a fine portrayal. though some twisting of the true habits of said species are thrown in for comedy purposes.)
Back to my main man, New Jack. This guy is fukin classic. If the govt. were to gather a team of the best scientists n shit to build a "crackhead,"
I'd still put my money on my mans right here. This foo always comes in with that "be bop" walk. (where it looks like one o there knees is broke n shit. you know? the "be bop.") go straight to a corner. And just straight busts a muhfukin, old school "B-Boy" stance.(arms crossed, head tilted, wide stance) and if I say, "yo New Jack, what u need?" if there are other customers still in the store, he give me that nod. (the,"its not safe to talk bout this in front of other peeps," nod) So after the coast clears, he'll do a quick "look around," come to the counter, do another "look around." Reach in his jacket, pull out a dvd, put it down on the counter and say,"Bam, check this out dog." Then he'll step back a lil bit and resume the "b-boy" stance. And without fail, the fukin dvd is always some wackass, straight to dvd or old as hell bullshit. Like shit you couldn't even give away. then the fool will always throw out some ridiculous shit like, "just give me 20 bucks dog" my reaction is usually,"waaaaaaaat? for this bullshit? who the fuck wanna watch Dirty Dancing n shit? yous gonna have to pay my ass to watch that trash yo.... Now if he's real desperate, I will negotiate him down to like 3 bucks n buy it. Not cause I wanna watch
the movie, its just my way of being charitable to a cracker jack. cuz he makes me chuckle all the time. I usually give the movie away. I take it as though I'm paying a few bucks for quality entertainment. thats my main man
"New Jack." (another thing is he don't try to play me n shit. he don't try to steal n shit. He's just straight up, muhfukin "New Jack")

the "machine"

yo, wass up? ain't too much up in here. Pretty peaceful if you askin me. aint cussed anyone out. (cept for Jase, but thats normal) Haven't had too many "fukface" customers, (you know, them "too cool 4 school" azzholes, usually short or chubby. always got attitude like they some tough guy, "billy bad ass." and you know, they just "Fakin the Funk."........ dumb fukers. I love it when one o the "real" homeboys walk in.... all of a sudden they start walkin normal and saying "excuse me" n shit. Always amusing.... which reminds me, I gots to let y'all know bout the "island" bros. straight up fuhkin "thug life," on the real yo. I'll post their story up in the next one or so.) But still get them "tighty" weasals who bitch n shit cuz the beer went up a whole .10 cents.... yeah, for real. they complain n shit over a freakin dime. I always think," does this fukhead ever get laid?" or "how small is his dick?" cuz you gots to have a "small" personality to complain bout a dime. fukin hate tight wads.... anyways, I wanted to spit a lil info on my boy, Rawl. This foo is a "machine." a fukin "work horse,".... nah, fuk a workhorse. he's better. for example: Rawls been with us for bout a year now and no bullshit.... he has used the restroom a total of 1 time. and that was like 6 months ago. (shhht, niik and jase pretty much got daily "restroom" breaks. sometimes, Jase's ass is in there for like 20 min n shit. ) He doesn't drink anything until around 6, when he eats. says that if he drinks then he pee's so he goes without. he don't snack, don't take breaks, just fukin handles his shit. and, on his days off, He helps his pops with the gardening service. He saves all his money, and helps his parents with groceries and bills..... the "machine."..... what sucks is that over the weekend, some cocksuckers broke into their yard and stole most of their eqipment. and this is right after his pops truck went to shit. so the badluck keeps piling up... no equipment means no business for rawls dad so Rawl gave his dad everything that he's been saving since he started here. like a couple grand. I think he was saving up to buy a car. fukin burn. I feel bad for the homie. but like I told him, "Its your Familia, you were probably a "mistake" or somethin, like the "raincoat" broke and yo fams is catholic so they couldn't get rid o your ass. so be grateful.............psyche, i didn't say that bullshit. it'd be fukin funny if i did though. I said," its family, you gotta throw down when needed."
peace...

aspirations, the higher the better... right?

Hey, aint posted cause not much has been happening. Just the basic idiocies of the hood. for example.... get this, First off, Jase is in some sort o group lawsuit with fellow trailer park dwellers against the Owner of the park. Turns out the owner, who's supposedly "ballin," (I believe he owns multiple trailer parks kinda the "Donald Trump" of trailer parks. cept instead o the helicopter, I think he pimps a "golf cart.) Hires the natives to do some maintenance around the "estates." I guess he gives breaks on the rent and even living quarters for some. (jase was housed up in some sort o tool shed for awhile) But then he starts workin em harder and doesn't pay. so long story short, a few of em are suing him. But the problem with having Jase as a client is that you can't just pick up the phone and holler at him, or stop by his crib. the muhfuker aint got no phone and for damn sure aint got no crib.
So the lawyers been sending their errand boys to the store to try and locate him. sometimes the dudes are stopping by like 4-5 times a day. So on one o those days, I see Jase's ass in the afternoon and tell him,"Hey bitch, your fukin lawyers are lookin for you. They been here all day....... They said they're gonna have to drop yo ass from the case if they don't reach you soon."(the last part was just made up, to fuk with him.) he goes,"oh, when? fuk that. How the fuk am I supposed to know..... " is when I interrupt," just kidding bitch, don't get your panties in a bunch." "just stick around and they'll show up." So of course, He bones out.... they keep showing up.
Later on in the eve., "idiot boy" strolls in all showered and shaved n shit. (a rarity, for I thought that the layer of dirt was just his complexion.) fool even did his hair.(gelled like a mofo) So I say," yo, look at jase, all cleaned up n shit.... you going to the sadie hawkins dance? You got another stained shirt fo your date?...... She gon rock a "gelmet" too?...... anyways, wtf? I told your ass to stick around. where the fuk jou go?..." jase: " I got a room at a motel."... me: "uh... what the fuck you gotta "shower up n shit" for?"....... Jase: "some of the lawyers are "chics................Aspirations, set em high. Looks like Jase got the "mojo" dispenser set on high. gonna bag him a "professional" type lawyer honey.

Idiot wouldn't listen

Hey eurone, first off let me apologize for the "to be cont." on the last post. I wasn't tryin to be suspenseful n shit, I had to take care of a customer service problem which I will outline shortly. and,"yeah," I'm thinkin of talkin to some o the neighborhood girls to politely tell that "drama" biatch, to "save the drama for her mama." I'm still kinda pissed.
anyways, as I was writing the last post the other day, this drunk ass fool comes in, (4th time that day) and tries to buy beer. ABC(alcohol.bev.control)
laws do not allow me to sell to anyone who is obviously intoxicated. So I hear Niik sayin, "Senor!..Senor!" is when I walked out. "Fuck, this fool again?"....I holla,"HEY!...STUPEDO! QUEPASO?....NO VENDE NADA. VAMOS! (HEY STUPID,I AINT SELLIN YOU SHIT. GET OUT.) muhfuker just glances at me and proceeds to grab a couple o "24's" and brings it up to the counter. "piece o shit muhfuker." (asshole has been doin this shit all day!)So I grab "tazer time," and display the "power" by hittin the switch a few times.(that fukin thing makes this loud ass electrical pop sound. the sound alone makes most fukheads change their attitude quick.) But this fool don't give a shit..... a muhfukin tuff guy.
so i say,"ohhhh, we got us a fukin tough guy." as I head out the counter. I say to Niik,"hey yo, you know what time it is?"..."Its fukin tazer time."
I approach fukface and give him one last warning.(this is actually the first time I have used the stungun with "intent to disable") then I "UNLEASHED THE FURY!!"........... nothing, no fury...didn't even make him flinch. "shit....wtf?" (tazer time failed me in "combat." now I'm standing there looking like an asshole.)
the photos below depict the events that followed... 1st pic: fukface gives me some dismissive gesture.(notice his hand/finger in my face) I say one last time,"no vamos?" 2nd pic: I deliver a well placed "Round House" kick to his mid torso. (nice slap sound with pointed feet/ no intent to seriously harm. I had a clear shot at his head.)
3rd pic: aftermath of "devastating" kick.(he suddenly sobers up) 4th pic: "tuffguy" cowering in fear as I yell," I don't know ka rah tee but I know cah rah zee.(from the poignant words of "Ice Cube.") after that, He didnt cause no problems.... Sometimes, a round house is all you need...regardless I'm gettin me a new tazer, but befoe that, We are going to have some "inhouse" testing. I'll let you know how that goes....peace!

drama (cont)

Hey,sorry bout the "to be cont." nonsense. but anyways, here's the rest o the shit:
So it turns out that the dudes name she kept sayin is this pock marked regular customer o mine. I don't really like this fool that much. He's always comin with some new fuckheads and they're usually twaked the fuck out. trying to pass fake ass twenties n shit. And they ain't even decent fakes, they some bullshit, straight outta some old ass copy machine, can't even line it up right, attempts.(I usuallly crumble em up and toss it back at their face.) So then of course, the assumption is that, He musta beat her ass and then stabbed or cut her in the "vajajay". probably over some jealousy bullshit. ("that is some fucked up shit man. How fuckin twisted must you be? is that some ghetto dyslexic version of "if you love something, let it go....."?)
At this point, she's in the ambulance, cops are huddled at the end of the lot, Fire n rescue still chillin and jase is standing around with blood all over his shit. So I give Jase some "Clorox wipes" and tell him to wipe up some o the blood on the door n shit.(he's already been exposed) and send him to go wash up.
Rawl, this whole time, has been fast forwarding the crappy costco dvr recorder to find the the clip of the girl coming in. Which is a pain in the ass cause you can't just jump to a specific spot, You have to actually skim forward(like the vhs tapes) and watch, while you got your finger on the pause button. Eventually, we find the clip, and it turns out she came walkin from the trailer park across the street. So I
call over the sarge and let him know wassup. He comes in, I show him the clip, and is somewhat disinterested..... He's got this irritated look on his face as he says,
"alright, here's what went down. The girl is arguing with her boyfriend, who then tries to leave in his car. She jumps on the hood of the car as its turning and gets tossed off. Which is when..... She cuts her finger." me:"What? no stab wound?" Sarge: "nope." me: "all that for a fuckin cut on her finger." sarge: "yup." me: "can you let her out o the ambulance, so I can whoop her ass? what the fuck? you know she was all hyperventilating, eyes rolling to the back of her head n shit?" the sarge just shook his head as he left. I go out and the first responding officer says to me," dude, tell em what she was like." I told em about the "oscar worthy performance." and he turns to the rest of em and says,"see? I told you."I guess they were giving him shit bout callin it in.
like I said earlier,"Drama for your fukin mama!" save it for her, cuz aint no one want to hear or deal with that bullshit. ecpecially "fukin faker, chicken little bullshit drama."