Heard later that he went to the emergency room. So now I feel kinda bad, ya know? See his ass the next day and find out that he went in for pain, they gave him some pain meds and a script for more pain meds. Which fool can't get cuz he broke, you know? So I naturally ask him what the diagnosis was and he say's,"nothin." Me:"WTF u mean, nothin." so i look at his paper work, and they basically put, abdominal pain. Alrighty then. Then I lecture him that since he looks like a bum,(beard, dirty ass shoes, stained shirt)they're gonna treat you like one. Anyways, I figured I'd get to the bottom of this. So I ask him if he's been shittin normal and what not. Turns out, he ain't shit for like 5 days. And he says that he's a normal once a day'er. Ok, I tell him," Bitch, u got constipation. You're backed up." Jase,"whats that?" Gaad dammn, its really like like talkin to a tree sometimes. "your system is plugged up. there's a pipe blocked up, fool." So i give him some "milk of magnesia," cuz we aint no muhfukin pharmacy n shit and we ain't got nothin else.
So the fool works that night. I ask him if he deuced yet. Nah, not yet. See him the next afternoon with that same look of pain with a lil,"I'mma cry," thrown in. Says he's gotta go to the emergency room again. Me: "alright bitch, they gonna five u mo pain meds and tell you to go." And just like I said, its what they did.
Next day I ask him what the fuck he's been eatin n shit. Cause the doc told him to eat bannanas and apple sauce n shit like that. Turns out that the other night, he found a case o these cereal bars and proceeded to eat 50 of em. All hail the king of dumbasses. This is what he found...
So in the end, He ended up takin a deuce and now all is right in the kingdom of dumbasses.
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